Unstrung
by Clouds add color
Summary: "A person's true identity can often be difficult to discern, even to themselves; causing one to question their character, their calling, their very existence... For most, time provides clarity. But for others, these questions remain unanswered- for identity cannot be fully defined when it is a guarded secret." (EdmundxOC) Co-written with 23EllaMarie. Currently being revised.
1. Sweetheart

"Jayda... Jayda please hurry..."  
"I am, Lilah. Hold on. I'm just pulling into the driveway. I'll be right there." I hung up the phone.

I put the car in park and quickly jumped out. Making sure that my gloves and belt were secure, I left the door open and ran up to the house.

The smell of rain usually comforted me, assuring that after it passed, the city would be fresh- wiped clean of any impurities and filth. But tonight, it mirrored it's stereotype. It crashed, beating the streets without mercy, lightening filling the sky and thunder roaring loudly.

I ran, being careful not to slip, into the building looming before me. The door was unlocked. Something didn't seem right. I curled my hand into a fist and made my way to the living room.

She was on the floor, curled up in a fetal position, crying. I knelt next to her and gently shook her shoulders.

"C'mon, Lilah, we have to go. Where is he?" She tried to stifle her sobs and glanced up to me. Her hand was cradling her nose, dark red seeping down her face. I clenched my fist. "That bastard."

"In the bathroom. Can we just go? Don't do anything stupid." Despite my anger, I smiled.

"Don't worry. C'mon, you need to get in the car." I gently grabbed her arm and lifted her up. Lilah winced in pain. I moved my hand to see five branded fingers, bigger than mine, on her upper arm.

"What do you think you're doing?" I turned. A man stood in the bathroom doorway, his right shoulder slightly leaning on the door frame. His head tilted forward, as if tired, but his eyes looked up at us. He wore a drunken smile. I narrowed my eyes.

"Leaving." I said simply. He looked at me.  
"I wasn't talking to you, sweetheart." He scanned Lilah with hungry, scrutinizing eyes.  
"Yeah? Well, that's too bad, I don't think Lilah is capable of talking, right now."  
I took a few steps forward.  
"You see, somebody punched her in the nose. It's kinda your fault that she can't respond, isn't it? Lilah, come on." She hesitated.

I gently nudged her shoulder. "Go on." She slowly backed towards the door. When she was close enough, she turned and fled down the hall, her feet thumping down on the hardwood floor.

When she was gone I turned back to him, searching for any sign of guilt in his face. I saw nothing. He was slightly more composed now. As if what had just happened, what he'd just done, was completely casual. An everyday occurrence. Normal...  
It sickened me.

"It's amusing how you think you're in control. That you can protect her." He paused. "Protect yourself." He made his way toward me. "Because the truth is: you can't."  
He stepped forward. I inched back.  
"She's told me about you, you know..." I looked at him quizzically. What did she tell him? "A girl with no momma and a father who's gone mad. It's a shame, really. I-"

"Stop..." I interrupted. "You know nothing about me. Nothing." He ignored me, continuing to tell me the story of my own past, slurring every word.

"Hard to take care of yourself as well as your poor daddy, ain't it?" He narrowed his eyes and smiled.

"I said stop... before I make you regret what you said."

A few moments passed. He moved forward, closer to me. I held my ground. I'm not Lilah. I'm not backing down. I would not give him the satisfaction of retreat.

"A lil' girl like you? Think that you can handle a big man like me?" he goaded.

He taunted me. That was all it took.

I clenched my fist and swung my elbow around, connecting it with his jaw. He stooped over, rubbing his chin, but whipped around ready to strike. I ducked under his swing and side-stepped to the right, punching him hard twice in his gut. He doubled over.

"What kind of a man abuses a girl half his size?"

I set my hands on his shoulders and kneed him in the groin. He sucked in a breath and sunk to his knees.

"You are a coward. You had to break her down to build yourself up." I paused. "I don't know what game you're playing, Kane, but I assure you, I'm about to end it. You have no control of Lilah anymore. You so much as call the girl, and I swear you'll regret it."

He looked up at me in disgust. "I'll do anything I want with her."

I went in for one final blow. That was my mistake.

He dodged, clutching my forearm in his hand, yanking me down. He unwrapped his right arm from around his torso and grabbed my other arm, pushing me against the floor. He held me there, like a wild animal in a trap. I didn't move. I was stunned. He was stronger than I had suspected. I couldn't help thinking of Lilah. What did she get herself into?

His eyes bore into mine as I laid there, unaware of what was happening.

"What are you-?"

"But you know, I'm feeling very into you right now." He leaned in closer to me.

"You're sick." I spit into his eyes.

He hesitated for a split second, and that was all I needed. I tore my arms from his grip and thrust my fist into his throat. He gasped, tears forming in his eyes. I shoved him off of me and met very little resistance.  
He broke.

Kane laid there on the floor, clutching his throat where I punched him. I stood up.

"Pathetic." I jogged out of the house, leaving Kane in a crumbled mess.

Lilah was sitting in the truck, cradling her nose. I climbed into the driver's seat and started the car.

"Where are we going?" Lilah looked at the house nervously.  
"Anywhere but here." I grabbed my jacket from the back seat and held it out to her. She put it on.  
"Jayda." she demanded, "Where are we going?"  
"I don't know. I'm just gonna drive."  
"What kind of plan is that?"  
"The best one I've got. Maybe I'd have a better plan if someone didn't tell Kane everyone we know, everywhere we've stayed an-"  
"Jayda, look!"

I turned to see Kane stumbling out of the house, his eyes blinded with rage.

"Looks like we're out of time anyways."

I quickly put on my seat belt and told Lilah to do the same.  
"Go. Go go go go go."  
I shifted into reverse and stepped on the gas.

The combination of rain and darkness was horrible. I could barely tell which way the roads were turning, and soon I lost sight of any road marks.

"Jayda, Jayda he's following us!" Lilah shrieked. I looked in my rear view mirror. Sure enough, there was a pair of headlights behind us. The space between the two of us was rapidly closing.

"Damn."I took a sharp left turn. Lilah was thrown against the car door.

"Jayda, slow down, I can't get my seat belt."  
"I cant, he's gaining on us."  
"Jayda!" she shrieked.  
"What?!"

I whipped my head toward her to see her holding onto the middle console of the car, terror filling her eyes. I looked forward and, turning onto our street was another car. Lilah screamed.

I slammed on the brakes, but two seconds too late. We hit the oncoming car hard, swerving sideways. Immediately after, Kane's car rammed into ours.

Everything went dark.


	2. Missing Gloves

The first thing I became aware of was how... _uncomfortable_ I was. Strands of wet hair stuck to the nape of my neck. I was hot, sweaty, almost. No amount of sweat could drench me like this, though. My clothes clung to my skin, creating an irritating itch... everywhere.

I slowly opened my eyes. A fire burned next to me. It was warm... no, it was hot. My forehead felt like it was about to be scorched. I quickly brought my hand to my forehead to shield it from the blaze. My hand was much lighter than I had expected, and it hit my forehead rather hard. I paused and stared at my hand. It looked... strange. The crevices of my palm looked oddly pale... _pale_. They _looked_ pale.

They were bare.

I took in my surroundings. I was in a house. No. More like a den. The walls curved in and met each other at a highest point. It looked lived in. It seemed like a friendly place. There was quiet chatter coming from the other side of the room. They were speaking with an accent, but I couldn't make out any words. My ears. It felt like there was water in them.

_Why was I so damn wet?_

My last memories flooded back to me. Lilah clutching her bloody nose. Kane pinning me down. And all of us, crashing into each other, my vision going dark. So, shouldn't I be in a hospital? Did any of those events even happen? And where was I? I was on a floor, in a strange house, with strange people.

I shifted. The voices quickly stopped.

"Ah good, you're awake. I was beginning to worry, dear."

I slowly shifted my head to the sound of the voice. An animal made it's way over to me on its...feet? It stood upright. It _walked_ upright, like a human would. I rubbed my eyes and looked it over again.

It was about three feet tall. It had brown fur and a flat tail. It resembled an otter. It was... a beaver. Yeah.

What was a beaver doing indoors?

"...What?" I didn't know what else to say.

"Are ya feeling all right, dear? Got any bumps or bruises on ya?" I froze. The beaver. It _spoke_. I was sure it was the beaver, it's mouth moved when the voice came out.

I couldn't form any words. I stuttered, moving up into a sitting position. A sharp pain burst throughout my shoulder, and I gasped.

"Now, you be careful there, I don't know if ya got any injuries and it's important that ya don't make anythun' worse than it already is-"

"N-n-no. S-stay." I scooted backwards.

"Oh, bother. Don't be so afraid. I talked to-" My thoughts drowned out the beavers words. Here I was, and this beaver was speaking to me. Using words. With an Irish accent. Walking around. On its feet. How is this possible?

Unless... it wasn't. It must have been the car crash. Kane had slammed into the back of us. That could have easily been enough to kill me. So, could this be the afterlife?

"Am I dead?" I calmly whispered.

"We were beginnin' ta think so." A rough voice said. I turned my head. Another beaver came towards me, speaking with a male voice. "But yer here, aren't ya? So ya can't be."

"Oh my God..."

"Stop it, you're scarin' the poor girl. Calm down, dear. We talked to the other girl, we know what's happenin here. Ya see-"

"The other girl? Lilah? Where is she? Where-" I quickly rose to my feet and took in the rest of the room.

Lilah wasn't anywhere to be seen, but there was another person in the room. He was a man, tall, dark hair, in what looked like his early twenties. He wore armor, sort of a medieval chain link, with a green vest with a golden insignia in the middle. He had a sword sheathed to his side. In his hands he held two jet-black objects.

They were... my gloves.


	3. Peasant

"Hey!" I looked up. "Give those back to me. Now."

She was tall for a girl, yet shorter than me. Her hair was a mess of black. Her eyes were a dark brown, void of any warmth that would otherwise be present. She stood tall, with a certain confidence that I had only seen warriors, However, I could see through her pose. She was vain, prideful. It was pitiful, really, that she tried to threaten me.

I looked back to the pair of gloves I was holding.

They were made of a black leather. Fingerless, yet long enough to cover her forearms. The wrists had a strange bracing, seemingly for support.

"What exactly are these made of? They're extremely heavy for gloves. They'll slow you down. That's not very tactical." I didn't look up.

"That's none of your business, now give them to me." She fumed.

"Then again, maybe it's not the leather. There is something sturdy underneath. I initially thought it was padding, you know. But it's too rigid." A threatening gaze took over her eyes. "So what do they do, then?"

"Are you deaf? It's none of your business. Give them to me, or I swear, you'll regret it." She put her hands to her sides and clenched her fists. She began approaching me.

It was time I put her in her place. I stood to my full height, easily a head and a half taller than her. She had to look up at me.

"No. You see, you are not the one in charge here. I am. So I advise you to tell me what I want to know. Am I clear?" I asked as if I was scolding a child. Her eyes narrowed.

I couldn't breathe. I found myself crouched over, and I couldn't move. A sharp pain spread throughout my abdomen. She... _hit_ me?

"Crystal." She simply stated and walked away.

I crouched there for a few more moments, trying to process what just happened. This girl- this _little girl_, had momentarily paralyzed me. With one punch. How dare she even _touch_ me, a king of Narnia?

I straightened back up. It wasn't like she was strong. She hit an old wound.

There was a chuckle from the other side of the room.

"Eh eh, looks like she got ya there, King Edmund." Mr. Beaver snickered. Mrs. Beaver lightly pushed his shoulder.

"Oh, hush. Don't mock him."

"I wasn't tryna' mock him. She's just got a good arm, doesn't she? Quick, too. She took the gloves and you didn't even notice."

I looked at my hands. Nothing. I clenched my fists.

"She does not. She got lucky. Little brat. I'll put her in her place." I turned, stalking out after her.

* * *

.:Jayda:.

Lilah was outside, sitting on the grass. She was hugging her knees, her chin resting atop them. She didn't look at me when I called her name.

Another girl stood a few feet away from her. She wore a simple red dress that reached the ground. She looked over to me with sympathy.

"Ah, hello there. My name is Lucy." She smiled kindly. Her arms were neatly crossed, and she stood straight and proud, with a certain gentleness that I couldn't place. "What's your name?"

I paused. The girl didn't look threatening, but I've underestimated people before. I'm not making that mistake again. So right now, everyone is a potential threat.

"Jayda." I cautiously pulled my gloves back on. "Where exactly are we? My friend and I need to be getting home."

The girl's smile faded. "Oh, yes. About that. You see-"

"What the bloody hell was that? How _dare_ you touch me, peasant!" The broody boy that I'd just hit came storming out of the... house? Den? ...whatever that thing was.

I faced him, a casual smile on my lips. "Peasant? What does that make you? A queen?" He stammered. "Oh, well I'm _terribly_ sorry, your _highness_," I feigned a curtsey, "but in my defense, I did warn you. That was technically your fault."

He gaped, offended and bitter. My work was done.

I turned back to the girl, who had a slightly shocked look on her face. Keeping a neutral expression, I continued.

"So. If you don't mind, I would appreciate directions. Or a map. Either would be good."

The girl stood there for a second, unmoving. She wore a sad smile. "That's what I was going to tell you. You see, you can't go back."

_Oh_. So she was keeping me here, then?

"Yes I can, and I will. You can't stop me." I took a step toward her. She put her hands in front of her.

"No no, that's not what I meant. We would never _make_ you stay. I meant, it is impossible for you to return. If I could, I would gladly show you the way back."

"What do you mean, impossible? Where even are we?"

She began speaking very fast. "We're in a land called Narnia. It's... very different from Earth, and we want to make the change as easy as possible for you, so we're here to invite you to stay at our castle with us, for the time be-"

"Wait wait, _what?_ No way back? What-?" I accidentally raised my voice.

"I'm sorry. Let me slow down. I'll start at the beginning." She breathed deeply. "My brother and I were on patrol in the Western Woods when we got a message from Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, asking us to come quickly. We made our way here as fast as we could. When we arrived, you two were laying next to the fireplace in the Beaver's den. We would have thought that you were Carlomen, but you were dressed so... strangely. The only plausible explanation is that you were from our world, Earth, and that Aslan brought you here purposely, just as he did with us. I really am sorry, and I know that this all must be very challenging for you to accept, but I do hope that you will join us back to Cair Paravel, our castle near the Eastern Sea. There is no way back to your world."

I paused for a moment before deciding my next sentence.

"...are you high?"

"Jayda!" Lilah turned to me, her eyes red. She looked horrible. Her hair was in knots and her mascara was smeared. Then again, I probably looked the same.

"She lives! I was starting to worry, there." I tried to keep the atmosphere light. God knows that Lilah had a tendency to... overreact.

"Stop Jayda, this isn't something you can laugh about. We're stuck here. Wherever 'here' is. And we can't get back. Does that sound _funny_ to you? Is this a _joke_?" Her expression became stern and unhumorless. So much for keeping the atmosphere light.

"Well," I paused, choosing my words carefully, "I thought it was. Clearly, though, you think otherwise." I turned to Lucy. "So, what happened, then? Did we die? Is this supposed to be like, heaven or something? Because so far, this is not paradise."

"I wouldn't know. We came through a wardrobe, just west of here."

"Did you check it? Can we get back there?"

"It doesn't work that way." She frowned. "Like I said, you are welcome to stay with us. We won't force you, though."

"Hmm. I see. No offense, but I'm gonna have to decline. We really need to go." I walked over to Lilah and pulled her up.

"Be nice to them, they're powerful." She said, barely audible.

"They're crazy. We need to get out of here." I whispered back.

"You don't understand. We don't know where we are. You want to leave? Where would we go? "

"We'll just find a nearby town. Get help there. We need to go. Now. Before they murder us or something."

"And if there isn't one? What if we really are in the middle of nowhere? And we just left? What would we eat? Where would we stay? We cannot do this. Lets go with them. Just for right now. We can always leave."

"Lilah-"

"Jayda. Please. I'm scared." Her eyes watered.

If she was angry, I could take it. If she yelled at me, I wouldn't even blink. If she hit me, I could still say no. If she threatened me, I wouldn't be fazed.

But I couldn't, _physically_ couldn't, be able to deal with the crying.

"Fine."


	4. Fade Out

"You live in... a castle... of course." I gaped.

Tall spires rose above the tree line, its tan walls contrasting against the deep green of the forest. The salty smell of the ocean filled the air, and I could hear the crash of waves in the distance.

Lucy beamed with pride, "It is beautiful, Cair Paravel."

Lilah's previously sullen face lit up with a childish wonder. She gazed up at the towers, her curly blonde hair cascading down her back.

Sometimes, I was jealous of her. Her eyes were a deep brown, like a puppy. They held a certain innocence that was becoming exceedingly rare. Her hair always seemed to be perfect, falling in soft spirals. Her lips were a calm pink that matched her skin tone flawlessly.

I looked away.

The castle sat on a cliff overlooking the ocean. That was a stupid decision by whoever designed it. If there was an earthquake, the ground below the castle could easily collapse, bringing the castle down with it. Especially if it was not up to date with earthquake codes, which it obviously wasn't.

This also left a side of the castle vulnerable to an attack from the sea. Not very tactical.

The dirt trail turned into a cobblestone street. The streets were bustling, merchants were selling things and people were buying things and mothers were holding their child's hands and there were... fairytale type..._ things_ walking around upright, like a person would. Some looked normal at first, with a human's torso, but the bottom half of a goat, or horse, or something. There were some that were completely covered in fur, and animals walked around, seemingly having conversations with each other. And they acted like it was the most natural thing in the world.

My breath hitched in my throat.

Not knowing what I could possibly say in this sort of situation, I looked down to my hands, avoiding all contact with those... creatures. Instead, I repeated random song lyrics multiple times in my head until the constant bobbing of the horse beneath me stopped.

I swung my leg to the other side and jumped off the horse. A sudden pain coursed through my ankles. I must have misjudged the landing.

"Argh." I rotated my ankle, making sure that it wasn't broken or sprained.

"In retrospect, you should have waited until someone came to assist you." Edmund stood over me, an amused smirk on his face.

"Thank you for your concern, my queen," I curtseyed, "but I don't need any 'assistance'".

"How dare... I am a ki-" He started, but I turned away and jogged after Lilah and Lucy.

"Oh there you are, Jayda. I was just telling Lilah that the castle-" I slowly stopped listening to Lucy.

I wasn't really interested in the history of a castle involving people and tales that I had never heard of. I tried not to look; looking meant seeing, and seeing meant accepting the fact that I was here, in a castle, in a place that literally made no sense, and that I wouldn't be able to go home. So I focused on the floor, and I hoped that everything would fade out.

It didn't.

* * *

I am so sorry that this is so short, but I've been having both family and technical issues. Technical, meaning I wrote a bunch, but somebody decided to turn off my computer before I saved it and all if my progress was gone. Just like that. Anywho, I feel really bad that I haven't updated in three weeks, and its even worse because I see a spike of views on Saturdays, and I hate to know that I let people down.

I just got the chance to write today, and I know that its short, but it is something. So, here you go, and I'll try to get a mid-week chapter up. Hopefully. Next week I have a lot of testing and essays to do... so I can make no promises about next Saturday.

Sorry :'( I'll make it up to you some how, swear.


	5. Doesn't Matter

"My queen! You have been summoned to the throne room to discuss... an urgent matter." The servant nervously glanced and me and Lilah.

"Ah, of course. Lilah, Jayda, I'm afraid that I have been summoned. I'll have someone take you to your rooms. You can freshen up, explore the grounds, or sleep. Whatever you wish."

"Of course, Queen Lucy." Lilah curtseyed. I, on the other hand, didn't have much to say.

"Kay." Lilah shot me a sideways glance. "What?" I asked.

"Just... never mind." She looked back to Lucy.

"Right. Well, then, I have to go now. Seamus, show them to their rooms, f you please."

"Yes, my queen."

The high arched ceilings stood massive and proud, and the walls were dressed with several paintings. I looked down at the cold marble floors, each tile chosen carefully, completely free of any scratches or impurities. We approached a staircase on the left. It curved with the wall of the castle, ascending several flights above us. The handrail was engraved with flowers and vines, each different from the others. It must have taken quite a long time to hand carve every one of them. We came up three stories- or was it four?- before finally turning into one of the hallways. This hall was slightly less grand than the first, but still well lit and decorated nicely. A long, red rug was placed on the floor, and the hall was painted a warm beige.

The servant stopped in front of a door and opened it. "Your domestic will come by shortly. If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. We hope you feel at home here."

Seamus looked to Lilah. "If you'll follow me, I'll show you to your room."

Lilah gave me a weak smile and followed the the servant down the hall. I hope she doesn't get attached to this... place.

It doesn't matter. We aren't staying for more than a night. We'll be leaving tomorrow; as soon as I find a map. If it weren't for Lilah I'd be out there on my way home, or possibly there already. But she's confused and tired and I honestly don't think I could deal with the tears right now.

I stopped in the doorway. It was so... pampered.. and expensive looking... It was disturbing. Shiny, beautiful, frilly things don't belong in my world.

I silently slipped into the room and shut the door.

The bed caught my attention first. Four tree trunks (the bed posts) rose from the ground, and eventually separated into branches and leaves, which grew into each other in an intricate cradle above the middle of the bed. The bed itself was covered in a large, red comforter. Hm. That seemed to be a rather popular color here. Too bad, I hated red. It is the color of hatred and anger, of imminent danger and deadly heat, of blood.

The whole room carried the theme. There was a small shelf of books on one of the walls, and a vanity that looked hand carved. Furniture was placed with care, and decorations were placed accordingly. All of these items were either red themselves, or a color that complemented the red.

A picture frame from this room could feed me for a week. Although... I could see much more expensive items in this room. Wait- no. I had to stop myself. I was scoping out the place like I was gonna hit it. Even though those days are over... the instincts never left me.

I was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in..."

A small girl peaked her head around the corner. She had startling blue eyes and very dark hair. She didn't say anything, just stepped in, set a tray of food on the counter, and slipped out, shutting the door ever so gently.

I walked over to the tray and picked up the lid. There was a piece of chicken on a bed of mixed vegetables. Very fancy. It wasn't really my thing, though. I would've preferred a nice cheeseburger, with lettuce, and- stop. This wouldn't help me. Wishing I had things from home didn't help. I was just torturing myself. I wouldn't get my jeans, or my favorite t-shirt, or any of my comfort food. I needed to accept that.

Hopefully, though, I'll be outta here by tomorrow. I'll be gone, or I'll wake up and realize that this was all a dream, and that there weren't really talking animals and mutants out there. Everything will be good. Everything will be fine.

Though it didn't really appeal to me, I ate the chicken. It was fine, but it was slightly bland and left me a bit hungry. No matter.

I laid down on the bed. It was a wonderful, comfortable, and it felt like I was on a cloud. I've never had one like this before. Previously, my mattresses had been hand-me-downs, with broken springs or had formed to match the body of someone else- never mine. This bed, though, was simply perfect.

* * *

This week, I swear, has been the busiest I've ever had. Two exams, one HUGE project, and a couple essays. You don't care, though. My excuses don't matter. Once again, I'm sorry that this is short, and I'm sorry that I missed last week's due date.

Lol jk. I can do whatever I want.

I'm sorry I didn't mean that I love all of you I'm sorry.

-CloudsaddColor

PS, if you have any ideas/plot development/whatever feel free to PM us. We have everything planned out, but we figured that it would be cool if you wanted to contribute, maybe we we'll incorporate your idea.


	6. Susceptible

"Oh, come on, Jayda! This isn't America. That's obvious. So we better just stay here. I have a good feeling about this. Maybe it's our destiny!" Lilah persuaded.

Destiny.

The belief that you are alive for one purpose. Usually that purpose includes love, or family, or a dream job. Destiny is the belief that, one day, you will find that purpose, and accompanying it will be a sense of fulfillment and happiness that couldn't be obtained otherwise. Oh, how I hated that word. Destiny, like so many other values, holds a false hope. It was thought up by a human that lived long ago. It was created to fill a void- to give people a cause.

Destiny doesn't exist. The sooner you accept that fact, the sooner you will get on with your life, and start working for what you need. Nothing will come to you. You were not made for a singular purpose. You were an accident, just like everyone else on the planet.

"The Pevensies have already tried getting back and they couldn't. Why should we try if they failed?" She sat on her bed. "I'm not cut out for long adventures. I'm useless with a map, if we even had one. Let's face this, Jayda. We can't do it."

"I can do it. I can navigate, and lets be honest, we couldn't have gotten far. If we just-"

"No, Jayda, we cant. You need to realize that you can't do everything that you say you can. The Pevensies have offered for us to stay here and are offering us help in the best way that they can. We should accept it. Besides, where are we supposed to go? We literally have nothing. We have no one."

"Lilah, we'll be fine." I reassured her.

"You don't know for sure."

"Yes I-"

"No. You don't."

I paused, shocked by the assertiveness in her tone. I had never heard her raise her voice before. Usually, she went along with me without a second thought.

"We can't know everything. We can't predict everything. All we know is that there is a family, here, now, that is offering us a safety net. I don't care what you do. I am staying here."

I knew that tone. I had used it many times before. It meant the end of the discussion, that she was getting her way and that there was nothing I could say or do to change her mind. I cringed, but withdrew. I didn't say anything else.

"Believe it or not, this is hard on me too. I have a family back home. I have a little brother. What's he going to think when I don't come home for Thanksgiving? Or Christmas? I promised him that I'd teach him how to ski this year." She laid down on the bed. "I... just need some alone time, ok?"

I gaped. If staying here hurt her as much as it hurt me, why did she continue to defend the idea? She didn't know anyone (or anything, for that matter) in this... place. She had no attachments. If something is causing a person pain, then that person should excise the tumor.

Nevertheless, I silently got up and left her room. I glanced back at her before I closed the door. I don't know why. Maybe I expected an apology. Maybe I wanted to deliver the apology. But I didn't get one, and I didn't give one. Then again, why should I? She was wrong, I was right. I wasn't going to lie to her just so she could feel better. My word is my vow, and lying meant that I couldn't be trusted. So I kept quiet, and closed the door behind me.

* * *

"So what do you suppose we do about it, then?" Lucy paced the corridor, taking about six steps and then turned around and repeated the process. "We can hardly quarantine the citizens. We need the guards, and we need our scouts. Those bloody Carlomens! Using sickness as a weapon! What-"

"Lucy, will you stop that pacing?" Peter sighed. "I can hardly focus with your the constant footsteps. It's maddening."

"I see what you mean though, Lu." Susan sat proud and straight, showing no fragility despite the looming threat. "We do need our guards. If we quarantine them, we leave a wide area unprotected. However, if we leave them be, they are susceptible to the disease. Edmund, have your spies found out exactly what we are facing?"

Edmund looked up. "Susan, If they had, I would have alerted you. So, no. They have not. My men will find something when they do. Constantly pestering me will not accelerate the process."

"Easy, Ed." Peter coaxed. "She was Just asking for an update. Calm yourself."

"I'm not a child, Peter." Edmund looked to Susan. "I will notify you when I get any feedback from my men."

"If you do." Lucy began pacing again, an exhausted look on her face. "There is no guarantee. We need to take immediate action. We cannot let this spread."

* * *

I AM SO SORRY. A lot of stuff has been going on, and we've only been able to write together once this past month. School has been brutal. Tests, essays, projects, I hardly had time to breathe. I promise, though, during Christmas break we'll update often. Hopefully twice a week. Maybe more, depending on how free we are.

I would have uploaded this sooner, but we really can't write without each other. If I said something awkward and then posted it without her permission, she'd kill me. I am not kidding. She plans these things. Plus, half the time I start typing in French, because foreign language is taking so much of my time. Sometimes I start talking in French in normal conversations. It's becoming a problem.

I swear, though, I will make it up to you guys somehow. Whatever it takes. Wanna leave a request in the comments? I'm feeling generous right now (downright desperate for your approval) so I might take your request into consideration. -Cloudsaddcolor


	7. In a World of My Own

"Miss, breakfast is soon, and you're still in your nightwear. I've already given you an extra hour to sleep in, and now I must insist that you get up and get ready." The maid was kind, but too concerned.

"Noooo." I groaned

."Miss..." She gave me a warning look.

Reluctantly, I sat up in bed.

"Oh my. Look at your hair." She started fanning out the strands, as if it would help. Unfortunately, all it did was expose the worst of the knots.

"What about my hair?" I asked, feigning concern and confusion.

"It's a rat's nest, that's what it is." She tsk-ed and attempted to brush it out with her fingers. In reality, it did nothing. Her fingers were ruthless, pulling out knots with no concern for any pain she inflicted on me. I've never had a sister or friend that would do my hair for me, so I wasn't used to people pulling at my hair.

"I could- ouch- do it instead. Really. I'm not incompetent." I tried not to show pain. Normally, it was easy for me. I've been cut before. I've broken bones before. I didn't know why, but this really hurt. No wonder pulling hair was foul play in a fight. She laughed."

How did you manage to get your hair this tangled?"

"I don't know. I expect that it's the same reason my ipod headphones manage to tie themselves into a noose while they're in my pocket."

"Your... what?"

"Nothing, you wouldn't understand."

I managed to pull through the pain without a tear. I was proud of myself. If this woman could endure this amount of torture, well, I might just have to salute her. That was way tougher than any of the street rats I've pulled my hair into a half up, half down hairdo that reminded me of the middle ages (of course). I have to admit, though, that it was rather pretty. I didn't object.

"There. Your hair is presentable."She stood, dusting off her dress as if it were dirty, "Now, let's get you into your dress."

"What?"

* * *

The dress was horrible.

My legs felt bare and unprotected- not to mention the limited movement. My normal stride was impossible to recreate. I had to take slow, dainty steps, and I swear that it took me twice as long to get to the breakfast hall.

Lilah and Lucy were already seated and eating, which didn't surprise me. Lilah loved mornings (something about the sunrise; wouldn't know, probably wouldn't care). I took a seat next to Lilah, who acknowledged me with a quick and uninterested "Good morning". She turned back to Lucy and continued their conversation (something about gardens).Lucy seemed sympathetic, though, and kept sending worried glances my way. To be honest, their conversation sounded like useless chatter to me, and I wasn't in a very... social mood.

The broody one came in and sat down silently. He laid out several papers on the table, and began shoveling food into his mouth without a thought or even questioning what it was. He never looked up or attempted to speak in any way. Then again, I didn't either.

Lucy had mentioned something about meeting her other siblings at dinner, but her comment was brief and quickly forgotten as Lilah brought up another topic.

"Would you like to see the gardens? They're lovely this time of year." Lucy beamed at the idea. Lilah quickly returned the smile, "Of course we would," She nudged my shoulder, "Wouldn't we, Jayda?"

"Yeah sure." I paused. "But unfortunately I got here later than you did, and I'm still hungry. You two go ahead, I'll catch up."They didn't need any more convincing, and after a quick goodbye, they stood up and left the room. I stared at my plate, absent mindedly moving around the remaining pieces of food on my plate. Once or twice my eyes flickered up to the boy (what was his name again? Starts with an E...) sitting across from me. He was deep in thought. He didn't seem to notice the absence of his sister. A few minutes passed before he glanced up and looked around.

"Where...?" He asked, to no one in particular.

**"**They left. A while ago. Went to the gardens." I paused, knowing that I would inevitably get myself into trouble. "Real observant, aren't you?"

"I could use a little less sass, thank you." He sighed offhandedly, seemingly too busy to talk. I knew. I knew, plainly, that getting on his bad side was not a good idea. That, if I simply stopped talking, I could make my life much easier. It was simple. But did I just leave him alone? inside of me kept on pushing, kept on telling me that I was important, that I wouldn't be shrugged off like a fly, and that he would give me the respect that I deserved. And if not, well, I could at least knock him off of his high horse.

"And I could use a little less of your ego. Doesn't mean that I'm gonna get it."His hands hit the table exasperatedly.

"Look..."

* * *

She was so irritating. I couldn't stand her. So why was it that when I stood up to start yelling at her that I forgot what I was going to say? I realized that this was the first time I had actually looked at her this morning. Poor thing, one of the maids must have gotten to her. She was clothed in a traditional Narnian dress, and her hair was pulled back- a vast improvement, one that she would not have made herself. But somehow she looked...

I would have finished that thought. If it weren't for the sudden pain in my thigh. I don't even remember her coming towards me. I started to fall but grabbed the dining room chair and leaned on it for support, my hand clutching it tightly. I squeezed my eyes shut for a moment then looked up to see this... this _girl, _standing over me. _Who does she think she is?_

* * *

He shouldn't have overreacted when I knee'd him in the thigh for staring at me.**  
**It was instinct. I'd been in situations worse, I've responded worse. I've broken bones before. I've sent big, 'tough' men to the ER. He should count himself lucky.

He didn't.

"Why can't you just act like a _Lady_?" He pulled himself up.

"In my defense, I really didn't mean for it to happen the way it did." I paused, looking for an excuse that would defend me. I couldn't find one, of course.

"Oh I'm _sure _you didn't.

""It could have been worse. You were just lucky."

"You just couldn't stand the thought of acting like-"

"I'm sorry. But you started it. It's not my fault you have no sense of humor." I knew I'd screw up sometime. I didn't intend it to be so soon. I wasn't able to deal with dresses, or princes, or princesses. I just wanted to put on a pair of jeans and call it a day

."_Humor_? Did you really just call that humor?" He was flushed, red tinting his cheeks.

"Yeah, I did."

It was like I couldn't control my actions or my dialog. I knew that I should apologize. But I couldn't. "It's not your fault, though. I know plenty of humorless fellows. They just can't help it. Don't feel bad.""You insolent little-" Edmund began.**  
****  
**"No! No, your Majesty, she didn't mean it!" Lilah protested, stepping in between us. (Where did she come from?) She tried to keep me out of his view, but she was shorter than I was, and built considerably smaller.

"No, I meant it!" I looked over Lilah's head as I issued the insult. He was fuming. I could nearly see smoke coming out of his ears. It was hilarious.

"I don't need this. It would do you well, Jayda, to mind your manners. You are a guest here. I am not _required _to be hospitable." He smoothed his tunic, his face mirroring his shirt. I could barely tell he was angered in the first place.

He turned and stalked away. I watched him go. Lilah was fuming.

"Are you serious right now? Really? _Really_? I thought we talked about this. Are you _trying _to get us kicked out?" She flailed her arms, trying to get her point across.

"Actually, yes." I paused, looking down the corridor Edmund had left through. "You see, we need to get home. I'm leaving, and you're coming with me."

"There is no home to go back to! We're stuck here. We went over this. Get that through your head!" She was on the verge of tears, " _Please_. I'm scared too, Jayda."

"I'm not scared.

""Yes, you are!"She paused, staring at a blank space on the ground, debating with herself. She didn't speak for a while, but when she did, it was in a quiet, blank tone."You'll never admit it because of your pride, but I know you. "

I narrowed my eyes. "No. You _don't _know me."

Several moments passed. Lilah's face filled with disappointment and hesitated for a moment, then continued. "Well, I do better than anyone else. You don't exactly make it easy, do you?".

I didn't respond.

"At the least I wish you wouldn't remind me that we're stuck here. It hurts me enough. I actually lost people that were important to me. If I can deal with it, you should be able to too."

I balled my fists."You know, Lilah, I love things too. No. I don't have a little brother, or much of a family, really. But you know what? I love my movies. I love my books. I love college, I do. You are _so _convinced that you are the only one that loves when-"

"You may love _things_, Jayda, but I know _how _to love. You don't."

****"What do you mean by that? I-"

She cut me off. "Jayda. You said it yourself. I'm not close to you. If I'm not, who is? Name one _person _you lost."

I was dumbstruck. Where was she going with this? What _wrong _with her? I couldn't think, or even speak.

She kept going. "Go on. What or who did you lose that you are so determined to go back to? Your _dad_?"

I didn't have anything more to say. I walked past her, hitting my shoulder against hers as I did. I heard her scoff, and then stalk the other way. Her footsteps eventually turned into a run. I didn't walls and corridors of the castle confused me, and I was sure that I had taken the wrong path at least once. I couldn't say exactly how long it took me, but I managed to make it back to my room without running into another person.

I slammed the door and locked it. For some reason, I couldn't control my breathing. It was erratic, and it burned. Short, shallow breaths gave way to large gulps of air, and then I couldn't make myself breathe in. When I did, it was automatic, as if I couldn't control my lungs.

I ran to the bed and kneeled next to it, as if in prayer. How ironic. I never went to church, I never prayed. The existence of a god or higher power had eluded me. Nothing in my life was worth loving. I wasn't 'blessed'. The whole notion was silly to me.

Is this what I'm supposed to do? Break down in prayer the moment I am in trouble? No. I wouldn't be reduced to that level over a little fight with a friend.

I sat there for a few minutes before I noticed that my knees were tucked away from my view. I looked down and pulled aside the comforter. There was a space large enough for me to fit I was younger, I would always 'escape' to the space between my bed and the floor. The blankets around me would hit the floor, blocking out any light, and anything else that resembled my house, my father, or my was my own little world, and I would sit there for hours, making up stories, dreaming. I would stay under as long as I could. No one ever came to get me. No one ever interrupted me. It was mine, and mine alone.

I stared for a few minutes before I gave up and crawled under, disappearing from view, pretending that I was back under my own bed.


	8. Thunder and Lightening

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*"Hear Me" by_ Imagine Dragons*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~_

The first thing I see is my mother.

No one would guess that she was my mother; with her long, blonde hair and pale skin. I'm a reflection of my father, but I don't have his dark, cold eyes.

Most kids in my situation have a last look; a fading memory of sorts. A last fragment of their lost parent. A glimpse of their coat flying out the open doorway, a packed suitcase by the stairs. As for me, I don't have anything. There is no surviving photograph, no trinket that was once hers for me to hold onto. Nothing. There isn't anything left of her anymore. But the image of her remains, never wavering.

She stands there for a few seconds, then disappears. Instantly the grief begins to consume me. But then I see her again, a little farther away, and this time I run to her. I make it a few feet away from her before she disappears again. This continues on for hours. She appears farther away from me each time, and each time I get closer to her before she disappears again. A continuous cycle. Every time she reappears I'm filled with a warmth, a completeness I haven't felt since I was a child. I almost touch her, and she disappears, and all of that is ripped away from me. The dream is toying with me and my emotions. It's playing a game. Each time she leaves me it becomes more unbearable.

Each time she leaves me.

I say it like I once had her to begin with.

This time I get to her and we're inches apart before she vanishes for good and the world turns white. I'm trapped in a room with no walls. I try to reach out in front of me to touch something, anything, but my hands only meet air. There's nothing. Nothing but white.

It's seems like a long time before I dream again.

This time my mom isn't there, but he is. I'm at my old house and he's sitting on a dining room chair. He's hunched over, his head in his hands, and she is on her knees crouching low to try and see his face. The house looks the same as always. Nothing out of place, except for a rotting vase of flowers at the center of the table.

"Dad..."

No answer.

"Daddy are you okay...?"

He's silent.

"Daddy talk to me... please."

Not a whisper.

"Please..."

This soundless, barren silence remains as she stands. Her head is bent and her hair hangs down bordering the sides of her face, but doesn't hide it. I can still see her. She doesn't try to hide how she feels. Her expression is a cracked plate. Fragments and shards of different emotions scattered across her face. Her eyes burn with regret and rage, but her lips quiver with doubt and fear.

It's after a few tears spill down her cheeks that she screams.

I try to stop her but I can't. I'm frozen but I can't stand to watch anymore, because I know what happens next. And for that same reason I can't look away.

Her hands grip her face as if to let go would be to lose her sanity, and it's at that moment that he stands and swings his arm in front of him, causing her to crumple to the floor. On her way down all other thoughts and feelings displayed on her face are drowned out by confusion and then fear. For a moment she stays there, face down and racked with sobs, her face filled with contortion, until she turns and tells him, "I want mom".

Then I see his face, ragged and worn, with greasy hair. He stands in a drunken stupor, his eyes bloodshot and filled with rage. There's a pause and then a struggle as she tries to run, but she can't get two feet before she's slammed to the floor again.

The scene continues, the man showing no mercy. He kicks her to the ground again and again. He yells, blaming her for all that's happened, calling her the cancer of their family. She's the burden that was too hard to bear. He screams at her. He screams until his voice grows hoarse and then shows his bitter disgust with his fists. She thrashes, screeches, bites, claws, scratches, and fights in any way she can to try to get away. But she's small, she's weak, and eventually... she breaks.

So the next time he hits her she stays down, broken, laying there as still as she can and hoping she can fade into the floor. And as cliche as it sounds, that is when her heart breaks. That is when she begins to feel the ache. And in the moments that follow... that is when she becomes numb. When she's honest with herself she knows that the numbness is worse than the pain.

How do I know this?

She's me.

_I am her._

* * *

I awoke to a sharp tapping on wood.

Darkness encased me from all sides, a comforting barrier protecting me from the harsh world around me.

For a moment, I forgot about the past week- the verbal fights with Lilah, the physical fights with Kane, and the fight within myself. For a moment, I was a kid again. I was young, carefree. I didn't have anyone else to watch over, and I didn't need anyone watching me. I never did. I was alone, and that was perfectly ok with me. I knew how to be myself.

The tapping began again. I composed myself, but didn't make a move to answer the door.

I had expected whoever it was to leave me alone, but the door opened anyways.

I paused, all of my muscles stiffening and my breath evening out. I was virtually undetectable.

"See, Sue? She's not in here."

"Pity. You really need to watch your attitude, Edmund. You are a king. Act like it."

"I did. She wasn't acting like a lady, it was her fault!"

"Oh, so you are blaming her? Honestly Ed, it's time you learn to take responsibility."

"I do, and you know it." his voice began to raise, "I rule this kingdom with you and have much responsibility, and with this mysterious new plague I simply do not have time for some rude, spoiled girl and her friend. I have more important things to do than to look after them!"

"Listen, Ed, I understand-"

"No, you really don't. This girl has been nothing but trouble since the moment we pulled her out of the river. She has done nothing but insult and injure me. Me! She should be showering me with gratitude- I saved her life!"

"You're impossible! You're difficult no matter what happens. Besides, she's not a girl of this world. We were confused when we first came, too."

"But it's not only that. We invited her into our home. And what does she do on the first morning here? She kicks me. The insolent little-"

"Edmund Pevensie, calm yourself this instant." The woman declared with a certain finality.

"I am completely calm."

"No, you most certainly are not."

There was a moment of silence.

"It's her fault, Sue. Not mine."

A sudden pang shot through my chest.

My fault. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. It hit me like a wave- pain, sadness, guilt. I could feel it sinking into my veins as it had many times before. It felt as if an old wound was reopened with a butter knife.

I closed my eyes and clutched at my chest, willing myself not to take a sharp breath or move too quickly.

"Of course it isn't. It never is." she says the last line with heavy sarcasm. "Edmund I don't care whose 'fault' it was. I'm simply asking you to behave in a more gentleman-like manner. Don't judge her based on her first reactions to Narnia, or to us. Remember, you made mistakes yourself.

I heard the heavy thumps of boots- and the faint clicking of heels on tile after them.

The Queens words echoed in the hall. "Ed, wait."

I remained under the bed for a few minutes- enough time for them to get far away.

Slowly, I pulled myself out from under the bed and instantly regretted it. The solace the den had surrounded me with was ripped away less like a band aid and more like a layer of skin. Though it was light out, the room felt dark to me. As if I was emerging from a safe haven and throwing myself out into a dark, cruel world full of nightmarish dangers that I wouldn't be able to escape.

Oh wait.

I was.

I was, and there wasn't anything I could do about it. I paused for a moment, questioning my next move. Obviously, I wasn't too popular around here. King Edmund hated me, that was clear. I was even on Lilah's bad side. Realistically, there was no way I could manage to get home. Wherever I was, this place was not... natural. And pushing my case wasn't going to get me anywhere. As much as it hurt, as much as it scared me, I had to accept that. For the moment, I had to stay there. Making enemies was not going to help me.

* * *

Author's note:

Sorry, I got sidetracked. -Clouds add color

She got sidetracked with her new fanfiction. I tried guys, I really did. Lolol. Just kidding cloudsaddcolor please don't shoot me. Sorry, things have been busy. Actually, a lot of it was my fault, I was busy fangirling, tumbling, and eating an increasingly large amount of food. I lead a busy life, what can I say?

Please don't leave us.

We'll be revising some of the previous chapters just so you know. We felt like some were lacking a certain... umph.

~*EllaMarie*~

I will shoot you. Just waiting for the right time. - Cloudsaddcolor

Great minds think alike.

~*EllaMarie*~

And from both of us... Yeah, we know it's been a while... Sorry, not sorry.


	9. Author's note

I know we haven't updated in a while, guys. I'm so so sorry. It is entirely Ella's fault. Being the horrible child she is, she is grounded until further notice. So, we haven't been able to talk. But we have been able to start rewriting over google docs. We really let the quality of our work go down after the first chapter. School and stuff.

I assure you, it will get better. In about a month we should be able to start writing new chapters, and, until then, we will be rewriting and revising. The chapters will be longer, more detailed, and overall, more put together. Check back in every week or so to see the changes we've made.

This is just to let you know that we haven't given up on this story.

And we feel really, really bad for letting it crumble.

We're fixing it, though.

Until summer,

Cloudsaddcolor.


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